


Scars

by perksofbeingalunaloser



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 22:11:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3626127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perksofbeingalunaloser/pseuds/perksofbeingalunaloser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TRIGGER SELF HARM<br/>excuse grammar i’m Dyslexic<br/>Castiel (Cas) has been bullied by Dean at school since he arrived 4 weeks ago, it's never easy fitting in at a new school and he became easy prey for the jerks (Deans friends) this starts after weeks of being called names, pushed into lockers and having his clothes stolen...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

Scars  
perksofbeingalunaloser  
Notes:  
TRIGGER SELF HARM  
excuse grammar i’m Dyslexic  
Castiel (Cas) has been bullied by Dean at school since he arrived 4 weeks ago, it's never easy fitting in at a new school and he became easy prey for the jerks (Deans friends) this starts after weeks of being called names, pushed into lockers and having his clothes stolen...  
\-------------------------------------------------------  
Cas was walking down the long corridor, he could hear foot steps behind him and he knew who it was. The steps began to quicken, he felt himself flinch as the hands grabbed his shoulders. His feet left the floor as his body was slammed into a locker. Cracking his head with a loud clatter against the peeling blue lockers, he lay on the floor head throbbing with his eyes closed, waiting for the next hit... but it didn't come, instead the usual names spat at him as he lay there, trying to hold back the tears.  
"fucking freak! go back home queer!"  
He didn't see who said it, but as he opened his eyes when he heard the group of 4 jerks walk away, he could have sworn one of them looked back and mouth the word sorry. What was his name, Cas thought to himself? Winchester.. something Winchester... Dean? It didn't matter, he probably just imagined it anyway...  
The boys kept walking down the corridor laughing and joking about Cas... Something inside him snapped and tears filled his eyes as he clambered to his feet. He checked his head as he stormed down the corridor and around the corner the sons of bitches turned down, anger radiating through his body. He saw Dean heading to the toilets, he didn't care if he was outnumbered and small, he didn't give a damn anymore. He burst into the toilet and Dean was standing there alone, his eyes wide, before Dean could speak Cas ran at him. The impact was so hard it knocked the air out of Deans lungs, as Cas had Dean pinned to the wall, the contents of Dean's bag scattered across the floor.  
"What the hell have I ever done to you Winchester?!" the words sounded choked as he tried to fight back the sobbing.  
"I'm... I... dude look..." Dean paused to get his breath back "I'm sorry, I know I've been a bastard, I'm really sorry" Dean said with such sincerity in his watery green eyes that Cas almost felt bad.  
Cas let him go and stepped back on something hard, he turned and saw it was Deans school stuff all over the floor. He picked up the thing closest to him, an old black leather journal, Dean jumped across from the wall and snatched the book out of Cas's hand with alarm, that scared Cas.  
"Look I'm sorry too... I just lost it, I never do stuff like that... but why do you do it?" Cas asked curiously.  
"It's kill or be killed round these parts..." Dean hesitated "I used to move around alot and you learn to fit in, even if you dont want to." he shrugged picking up the remains of his bags contents.  
Cas began to feel dizzy, he wasn't sure it was the blow to the head or the adrenaline running hot through his veins, he staggered slighting into the side of Dean who is quick to steady him.  
"fuck man, you okay? You look white as a ghost' Dean started to panic.  
"I think I just need to go home and lay down" said Cas feeling sick and hot.  
"okay I'll give you a ride, I'm not letting you walk home like this" Dean took Cas's arm.  
And they walked slowly out to the only car left in the parking lot - Deans Impala, the car ride was quiet and awkward with Dean looking over at the small dorky, black haired, blue eyed kid he'd been bullying for the past 4 weeks, he started to feel so much self hate and disappointment in himself he could bare to look at him anymore.  
Cas sat looking out the window as they made the short ride home, he didn't know what to think or feel, he just wanted to go home and sleep. Dean took a left and Cas then realised Dean knew where he was going - he knew where Cas lived... Did the other guys know where he lived? He started to panic as the car came to a stop, looking around to see if he could see the other guys.  
"How do you know where I live Dean?" Cas's voice gave away the fear he was feeling.  
"Erm I dunno must have seen you around here or something" Dean blurted out he didn't want Cas to know he followed him one day.  
' Dont worry no one else knows where you live" he added when he realised why Cas sounded so stressed.  
Cas fumbled for his keys, Dean walked a few steps behind him looking down at his feet feeling ashamed, how could he been such as jackass to Cas he seemed sweet, innocent...  
"Erm thanks for the ride home" Cas turned to meet the startled expression of Dean.  
"Is anyone home?" Dean craned his neck to see past Cas.  
"No... Dad's away and I haven't seen my mom in years" Cas shared more than he meant to.  
"I'm coming in, you took one hell of a knock man" Dean wasn't asking, he was telling. He pushed his way past a wide eyed Cas.  
"I'm okay, honest" Lied Cas.  
"Got a soda? Dean asked, looking around the huge kitchen. It must have been the size of his small, dingy front room at home.  
Cas quickly came to the conclusion he wasn't going to get rid of Dean, so he grabbed some soda from the fridge and they walked upstairs to Cas's room. Dean expected a room full of movie posters and a computer, but instead the room is big with light blue walls and a small bed with a single wooden cross over the place Cas would rest his head to sleep. Cas looked at Dean as he put his bag in his closet.  
"It's not much I know" he whispered.

 

"I like it" Dean said politely.

 

Cas smiled without meaning to, and Dean got lost in his own head for a split second. It was the first time ever he has seen Cas smile and it was beautiful, it reached his eyes which made his nose and eyes wrinkle a little. Cas sat down on the small sofa under the window and looked out at the street, Dean joined him their hands brush accidentally, sending both their hearts racing, Dean thought about moving but Cas looked at him like he wanted him to stay, they sat a while in silence. Cas was the first one to break the silence and tension growing between them, by asking Dean about his little brother Sam. They got talking about their families and lives they found out they had a lot in common. Both had crappy fathers, mothers both gone and they both moved around a lot. Dean told Cas about being bullied in every school he went to, which is why he had to become a douche to survive. Cas told Dean he had never had a friend let alone anyone around to his house before. Cas suddenly fell quiet and his eyes began to well with tears, he turned away from Dean and got up excusing himself in a husky voice.  
He opened the door and walked next door to his bathroom, he looked into the mirror gripping the sink. Was he falling for Dean? what if Dean found out? He would hate him, go back and tell all his friends that the little Christian boy was gay and make his life a living hell...  
He start to pull down his pants and looked at his legs covered in white and red lines, raised and healed scars covered his legs with a single word cut into his thigh "WHY". He picked at it a little and that was it, he couldn't stop the tears, they came flowing and he let out a little sob. Dean had been standing outside listening - worried about Cas he opened the door and walked in, Cas tried pull his pants up as quick as he could, but it was too late... Dean saw what he had done to himself in the reflection of the mirror.  
"I'm fine I was just getting changed" Cas tried to convince Dean but it didn't work.  
"What did you do to your legs Cas?" he felt tears roll down his face, he caused this...  
"I... I... Dean please, please don't tell anyone, plea..." Cas began to sob.  
"No I'm sorry... Does it hurt?" Dean wiped his eyes.  
"Yeah a little, since I was pushed..." Cas started to pick at his hands, ashamed.  
"Let me look? They look bad Cas" this time Dean was asking, not telling...  
Cas looked unsure but Dean took a few steps closer to him and he was pleading with his eyes, cas undid the bottons to his pants again and pulling down slowly wincing. Dean looked down and took in a sharp breath as he saw the word "WHY" carved into his pale skin...  
Dean looked at Cas who couldn't look back...  
"Why? What does that mean?" Dean felt a little sick in the pit of his stomach "I did this" he kept thinking to himself.  
"I... I wanted to know why no one loves me.." Cas sounded hollow.  
Something inside Dean knew what he wanted to do...  
"I will love you, I do love you" Dean didn't even need to think, it burst through him, he needed Cas as much as Cas needed him.  
He kissed Cas, gently brushing his lips with his, not expecting Cas to kiss him back but he did... Parting his lips with his tongue in an urgent kiss, pulling Dean closer to him, tears now running down the both of their cheeks. They stop, their breathing ragged and resting their foreheads on each other, Deans green eyes gazing into Cas's blue.


End file.
